Why do some people just get on your very last nerve? There is either something about them personally or something they do that drives you nuts. And they seem to be everywhere. It almost seems as if the Universe has decided to torment you and has sprinkled these people all over your life.
But is that what is actually going on?
There are people who place no value on things you know are important. People who get fixated on things you know are trivial and they won’t let them go. There’s that co-worker who complains constantly or the one who is so perky you want to slap her. Everyone has habits and personality quirks that get on someone’s nerves. Yet, at the same time, those irritating people have family and friends who love them. How can that be? What is at the heart of this phenomenon?
Well, it’s you.
Whose last nerve is feeling worked on? Who is irritated? Whose values feel threatened? Yours.
Carl Jung said, “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding about ourselves.” This is what he was talking about.
When the perky co-worker comes by, teases you about having a case of the Mondays, and you get annoyed, you have just learned something about yourself. She is being herself, in her own way, and that bothers you. This is actually a useful thing. It is information you can use to understand yourself better.
The goal here is not for you to work through this and like everyone. That’s not realistic and not going to happen. But we can peacefully coexist with irritating people if we can own our own shit. Your reaction to people is yours. It exists because of who you are, what you believe, what you value, and dozens of other factors that make up the unique individual that is you. So when Perky Coworker comes along being her perky self and you feel irritated ask yourself why. Why does this bother me? What does this reaction tell me about myself? And see where the answers take you.