Tips From the Tarot for Handling the Holidays

 Posted by
Nov 262018
 

Before the Thanksgiving dinner had even cooled off, retailers everywhere were on to the next thing: Christmas. The Black Friday emails came in waves. There were advertisements in my mail box and leaping off TV and computer screens. It made it difficult to catch my breath.

I appreciate that retailers need to make money to stay in business and this time of year is big for most of them. I also appreciate my peace of mind and moving at my own pace. If you too find this holiday frenzy a bit much then keep reading. The tarot and I have some tips for you.

 

10 of Wands ~ Work smart not hard

It’s much less stressful to make one trip and get five things than to make five trips for those same things. A little planning and strategizing goes a long way. Before you spend a penny make a list of who you are buying for and what you are buying for them. I then break this down by which stores will likely have which things and make one trip to each store getting all those things. My favorite is when I can do all this online from the comfort of my own home. When you know exactly what you want or near to it, online shopping can be a huge time and aggravation saver. With the big things out of the way first, wandering a store or two looking for the little touches and stocking-stuffers can actually be enjoyable.

 

3 of Pentacles ~ Teamwork and delegating

Working smarter can and should include some teamwork and delegating. Do you have a good friend you could go shopping with? Not only will you have the opportunity to catch up with them, and enjoy each other’s company, you can help each other make gift decisions on the spot. This works with a sibling, an older child, even your spouse if they are into shopping.

There is more to this season than buying gifts. Depending on your traditions there are specialty foods, decorations, and social gatherings. Two of my daughters love to decorate my house for Christmas, so I let them. Are you hosting a holiday gathering? Let the guests contribute to the feast. Are you someone else’s guest? Ask what you can do for her. My husband and I wrap the gifts together. He does some of the cards and I do others. When my kids were little my friends and I would take turns watching the kids while the other one ran errands or did holiday prep. Don’t let yourself get overwhelmed.

 

3 of Cups ~ Make time to celebrate with your friends

Speaking of friends, plan a date with yours. Instead of buying each other gifts go out as a group to a nice dinner. If that’s not your style, or not in your budget, plan a potluck party instead. Pick a theme, pick a date, and have a nice evening with your friends. Experiences are often much better than things and a relaxed evening of good company and good food is a wonderful experience.

 

5 of Pentacles ~ Remember those less fortunate than you

No matter how tight your budget there is always someone living tighter than you are. If you can give money there are many excellent charities doing good work that can use your financial support. The local churches in our town have giving trees and you can find a specific person to give to. Giving of your time is another way to help out. The local food pantry will always be happy to have help. Give them a call and ask them when they will need it. Perhaps your church or town is running a free holiday dinner. You can volunteer to help with that.

If time is also at a premium for you and your family, you can go through your belongings and see what you have that you can donate. Clothing that you haven’t worn in a year or two, but it’s still perfectly good, can find new life with someone else. It’s also a good time to go through books, toys, DVDs, whatever else you can think of. Take one afternoon and go through your house, fill up a kitchen bag with good stuff you don’t need and donate it.

 

10 of Cups ~ Celebrate

This is a time for celebration. It’s a time for joy. It’s time for enjoying your life and those people near and dear to you. If you find yourself getting stressed or anxious remember the reason you are doing all this. Think about the good things that have gone on since this time last year. Find gratitude for the people who share your life and your home and express it that appreciation with love.

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Acceptance

 Posted by
Nov 192018
 

 

The most important part of any lasting relationship is acceptance. Friendship, family, coworker, and most of all spousal relationships benefit from acceptance. People are flawed. They can be irritating, self-centered, and just downright annoying. You cannot love someone for who they are and attempt to change who they are at the same time. Accept them as they are; especially if you love them.

Now, understand that acceptance, and approval, are not the same thing. They have been conflated in our culture by people who have been careless with their words. Acceptance is seeing someone for who they are and acknowledging the truth about them. Approval is celebrating what you find in another. It is actively, liking something that the other person is, or says, or does. Acceptance has nothing to do with liking what’s going on. Acceptance is closer to non-resistance than it is to approval.

Acceptance is difficult when the other person is very different from you or holds different values from yours. Under those circumstances approval is nearly impossible. In any meaningful relationship this will come up time and again. It is important to remember that while the other person is yours in a relational way, (your child; your parent; your spouse) they are not your property. They are adults who belong to themselves and the choices they make about their lives are also theirs, not yours. By accepting the adults in your life as they are, you are respecting their autonomy.

This Thanksgiving Day, when you find yourself seated between the one relative who voted for Hillary and thinks Obama was the greatest president ever, and the other relative who is wearing a MAGA hat, remember the good things about these people you love and accept the whackiness that makes them the individuals that they are.

Lughnasa

 Posted by
Aug 062018
 

I think we should bring back Lughnasa in earnest. A celebration of the grain harvest, in gratitude to the god who wrestled it free from the forces that would keep humans from having it, seems a worthwhile way to spend a weekend. Summer needs another holiday and this is a good one. A summertime Thanksgiving celebration of a successful growing season and harvest. It would break up the long, hot weeks that follow Independence Day and would a nice way to ease into fall. Not to mention, gratitude for the food we eat. Always a good idea.

According to Patricia Monaghan, in her encyclopedia of Celtic Mythology, the legend is that Lugh’s mother, Tialtiu, died of exhaustion from clearing the land of Ireland for agriculture. In remembrance and celebration of her, Lugh started a festival. There was the ritual harvest of the first corn, athletic competitions that were similar to the Olympics, and feasting that included a roasted bull. This lasted a few days during which people would get married, or dissolve their marriages. New laws were enacted. Disputes were settled. There was storytelling, music, dancing, reenactments of the legend of Lugh defeating Balor, the god of famine and blight. Lugh’s triumph meant food for the coming winter and that’s the difference between life and death. Definitely worth celebrating.

In the modern, western world we don’t really have society-wide celebrations like this. We have reduced all the old rituals, holidays, and their celebrations, to one day each. I think we’re missing out. Imagine the whole country taking a three day weekend to celebrate in gratitude the yearly miracle of the harvest. It would be a good time.

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